I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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