I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize