She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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