I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
