Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
