I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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