Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
He is an equal opportunity slut.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
