he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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