Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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