don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
