there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
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