Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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