week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
