So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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