doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
