I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize