Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Found the puke drawer
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
