Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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