Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
