trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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