How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
