I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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