butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
