hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
