Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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