part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
