As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
