ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
