Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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