why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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