I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Fuck appropriateness.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
