either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
