I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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