Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
