mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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