Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
