Got a toothbrush?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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