No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
