So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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