wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
