i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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