I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
