sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
