Christians are straight up FREAKS
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
