is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
don't judge my taste in strippers
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
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