I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
