Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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