I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
