Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
