I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
