so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
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There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
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For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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