Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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