The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.