the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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