The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Can I ask u a weird question?
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
It's not a walk of shame if you run