I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.