Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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