So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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