I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Randomize
