He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Randomize
