so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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