she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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