I'm so fucking centered right now
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
