2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
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