i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
