I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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