Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Randomize
