is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
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the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Mom said you looked used
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
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I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
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