duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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